The INTROVERT-claimed (Un)Secret Toolbox

 

dont-too-close

 

I know if I told you here that I was an Introvert, that you might laugh at it. “Yea.. yea.. you like talking so much and you like to be on stage…Now you tell me you’re an introvert? for sure!”

What you did not know was that, I used to lost my voices in front on microphones (still do if you force me to sing), and I still do have small voices in class that someone need to tell me to speak louder cause they cant hear me. To some degree I enjoy being introvert and having no obligation to share my voice. At least at that what I thought..

I like to be on stage only for teaching not for showing, I like performing when it is the other way of saying in words. Well see how much I try to avoid speaking… I would rather do the work than telling people what they need to do. So much energy saved from my end.

I bring books everywhere even to dining table and family gathering ; and I merely growing up having a play time (I love books and love staying home). When I was 14, I faced a sort of weird question from my family asking if I have any friends and go out – then I realized that perhaps I should be going out and make friends. Then I go to my 1 and only friend and we read books at her place :-) And even when I was 20, I prefer to read my big giant communication lecture book at my boyfriend’s family gathering!

We enjoy time for ourselves, and that the beauty of being introvert is that we have a great excuse to just Be. But the fact that there’s both sides in each and every of us where we can be – by choice, consciously and subconsciously. And even Carl Jung himself who first introduce this concept says that people are more likely to be a combination of both, if there’s a person having only 1 side that it must be lunatic.

As Professional Coach, I deal with numbers of Introvert-claim clients who is trying to live in an Extrovert-claim world, where one’s performance is related to visibility and proximity that one can create with stakeholders. Ah well, honestly speaking this is our real and common world, because people is not commonly gifted with sixth sense to read mind :-)

But here are some resources that I normally share with my fellow introverts, that might be useful for you or your friends:

 

And how I personally deal with it ?

  1. If you really care you will. If it really matters to you to share you will find a way. And as the team leader at work, I have the obligation to ensure that the work and the team are being recognized because their career is also depend on their visibility. And their family is a great reason for me to help them to care a bit about their own career. So yes I will speak, because when the leader speak, it will amplifies. Ask yourself, ‘What is the need for you to speak? How important is it for you to connect with people you just met ?
  2. Practice, Practice, Practice. Yes, even an extrovert boss that I known of would still spare time to practice presentations and practice the speech. Don’t ask why they don’t practice in front of you. Ask why you should practice harder than those who claim to be natural extrovert. They choose to be practice as an Introvert ;-) And tell me, ‘How often would it takes for you to have a nice and comforting interaction with someone? How long have you have known your close peers or friends ?’
  3. Do what you most fear. Talk to whom you hardly talk. The thing about being an introvert is its comfort zone. It is just so comfort that you just want to stay there. But we live in an evolving world where change is the most constant thing to happen. So find your inner button and practice on facing your own fear. Ask yourself, ‘what if everything goes well? What the worst thing that you can do ? Can you still live with it ?’
  4. JUST DO. I really don’t like telling people what to do that one of my biggest mistake is taking any responsibility avails hoping that it will trigger others. This initiative of taking responsibility has taught me great thing, it is to not try and JUST DO. To park your fussy mind who tries to analyze people and situation and JUST DO. For God’s sake, if you have good intention then be firm with it. If you wanna do good, don’t think twice. Ask you self, ‘What stops you from doing it?’ and please not to answer being an introvert.
  5. Voice Matters. You never know if your story or even your life can help others. There’s a lot that we can learn from people experiences and people’s life, and many cases I found myself really grateful to be connected to people who opens up themselves, to be vulnerably open, and they make me feel that I am not alone. When we connect with others, we are also sending that message that you are not alone. Human is engineered with its needs for connection with others that will also impact your wellbeing — physically and emotionally. That is why you should ask yourself, ‘What is the message that is Life carry with you in your Life? And whom you should share that message ? What if the thing that you least consider, matters most to others? you can never tell unless you share.

And I would like to know how you cope with your Introversions and any relevant articles/resources that might help, you will never know who might Thankful to you :-)

THANK YOU