1 : 99
Very often our 1 case of negative experience taking over the rest of 99 positive experiences that we have.
Very often that 1 toxic friend take over your life than other 99 that nourish your presence in their life.
Very often that we are focused in 1 instead of 99, though we knew by logic that this 1 might be just one yet you let your whole life ruined by this one.
The math is the same in coaching, why would you focus to 1 employee that gives you most trouble than the rest 99 that appreciate and need you most for their growth?
Saat rasa ungkap makna,
Tanpa harus berkata-kata.
Saat hadir rasa hati yang sati,
Dalam aksi diri sejati.
Saat anganmu terbang terbayang,
Di antara relung jantung bersarang.
Dan biarkan aku bersujud dan menciummu dengan syahdu,
penuh syukur dan rasa haru,
dalam kini kita bertemu.
When some people wake up seeing their dream boards or self affirmation quotes on how they are going to live the day, I try this new method to pick a random question out of these lists. These questions will not only works to inspire you but to train your brain to think better. Like muscles.. brains are getting smarter with practices.
Not essentially that I become a genius, however having these questions has open up a new perspective of my morning active practices.. not only the body but also the mind.
Try yourself !
- What do you love most about yourself?
- What do you do really, really well?
- What would you like to learn to do really, really well?
- What can you do today to begin?
- What gets you truly excited about life?
- How do you define your purpose in life?
- When was the last time you did something for the very first time?
- What are your top 5 values?
- Are you (honestly!) living those values every day?
- What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
- What’s the way forward?
- What do you want your life to be about?
- Who do you want to be and what experiences do you want to create?
- How does that serve you in terms of who you are and who you want to be?
- Are you giving your best where you have your best to give?
- What do you want to accomplish?
- What do you want to do more of each day? … What do you want to spend your time doing more of?
- What do you want to spend less time on?
- If this situation were to never change, what’s the one quality I need to truly enjoy it?
- If not now, when?
- If not you, who?
- What do you imagine yourself doing 1 year, 5 years, and 10 years from now?
- What will your success look like?
- What has the fear of failure stopped you from doing?
- What one step could you take today to begin overcoming that fear?
- Do you have healthy boundaries or do you let people take advantage of you?
- What motivates you to do your very best?
- What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?
- What are you waiting for?
- Who do you need to forgive?
- What is your number one goal in the next 6 months?
- What self-limiting belief have you been clinging to?
- How would your life be better if you banished this belief?
- Right now, at this very moment, what do you want most?
- What are you going to do about it?
- What is the biggest obstacle that stands in the way of your happiness?
- How would you describe your future in 3 words?
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.”
Let there be warmth and lights within us, between us, and among us.
Let there be words in silence that speaks our heart and mind.
Let there be invisible red threads in between the black of the universe and the white of our divine.
Let the prayers nourish the souls and the devotion nurture being.
Let me humbly serve life before you
They said that the world will laugh with you when you laugh.
As if you saw the flapping leaves giggling between the tickling winds.
And when you cry, you will cry alone.
As if the sky shut down the lights, the sun doesn’t care how tired you have been.
The truth is, life is a mirror.
You are what you see. Life can only be the echo of it.
When you are happy then you will see the world from a happy thoughts. Those grey nerves in your brain start sparking a happy feeling which triggers the rest of the brain to think, feel, and act as a happy person as in result you see the world as happy, cause you stand in a happy place.
On the contrary, when you’re in despair, you see things as sad. Your body is closed, your eyes gaze down and all your brain can figure is to express that sadness. Then life amplifies it.
Life amplifies you. What you feel, think, and do.
Life is your own reflection.
When someone hurt you, you can only feel hurt when you allow it. Then the question has shifted from, ‘why do you hurt me?’ To ‘what’s in the action that press my sadness button?’
Then you will start to look inside and behind, then you meet yourself and get to know yourself better. It doesn’t really matter when one hurts you, at the end it’s how you responds to it.
Few questions for yourself when you wake up in the morning,
How do you want to remember today ?
How are you going to make your dream come true ?
Are you awake? I meant fully awake realizing the breathe and your heartbeats..
What stops you today ?
Who’s voice is that in your head ?
Are you breathing ? can you really feel the air?
When if not now is the best time to start ?
Where if not here is the best place to be ?
Who if not you who knows your dream best ?
What if not a chance you will be asking for ?
How if not making mistakes then you will learn from it ?
What have you learnt from yesterday ?
What is most important in your life ?
Why wait ?
The bitter truth.
During a trip to Ujung Kulon with my 8 year-old daughter, we were visiting a local school and took part in a small group mentoring for female junior-high school students. Briefed by the local teacher to motivate these girls to study and be positive due to the economy & accessibility challenges, most of these girls would end up not continuing their school to a higher education.
Yet among less than 20 people, there was only 1 girl who speak loud and telling us how she wanted to be an Intel, she found the profession as an act of courage and good knowledge. She is different. And with her ambition (and apparently a Top of class) she deserves a seat for a higher education. She deserve to be whatever she wants to be.
But I guess leaving them after left so much questions in me.. What if that girl unable to continue the education ? What if her family asked her to stay and just get married ? What if there are only few seats for schools and she’s being de-prioritized for being a woman…
Indonesia Gender Numbers: 81 – 56 – 5
Indonesia, with its 250 million people and nearly half is women, sadly speaking not half as much of the opportunity to pursue higher education. Based on publication of Local Representatives’ House on Women’s Role in Indonesia Development , found that only 81,15 million are working and around 56 percent of those came from elementary school graduates. Less than 5% of those working women graduated from a higher education.
As much grateful I am for completing my degree, juggling both raising a child and building a career, I feel responsible as much to ensure that my being at workplace makes a different in any ways that I could possibly contribute. Even if the changes is not happening anytime soon, as even when it takes 81 years for eliminating the questions of gender parity at work. It helps to start now. The United Nations estimates that Asia-Pacific economies could grow by an additional $89 billion per year if women realized their full economic potential, and that output per worker could rise 7-18 percent if business opportunities for women and men were equal. So yes, Let’s think about the good difference that we can make for Indonesia Economy.
Based on the study done by The Asia Foundation, Small and Medium Enterprises (SMEs) in Indonesia employs around 96 percent of country’s workforce and women make up about one-third of ownership. SMEs served as the backbone of developing Asian Economies. SMEs has given women in Asia a better opportunity to contribute to their noble being as women of the house who take a primary care of the children. Hence, women can have both, Work & Family. So yes, in order for Companies to benefit or the rise of these womenomics in Indonesia, it needs start thinking on how it can facilitate the needs of Indonesian women for being in a harmony — both work and family.
It’s not only happening in developing countries..
A survey of Harvard Business School found that 37 percent of millennial women and 42 percent of those already married planned to interrupt their career for family. That compared to 28 percent of Gen X women and 17 percent of baby boomers. Anotherstudy of female students graduating from Wharton found the disbelieve of achieving both career and family success due to lack of organization support.
Peeking Womenomics and understanding the needs for a company to have a supporting policy for working women in order to meet the optimum business growth of a company, I wouldn’t be surprised when the next fresh graduate would keep an eye for a more mother-friendly company to work for. So yes a balance for both Work & Family is not a matter of Indonesia but also a Global matter. And to make it even clearer, men as well demand the similar balance. It is a diversity needs, for both women and men.
The target to achieve: Gender Diversity on Board.
Following the catalyst report, business players realizing the needs to play in the game of change. And most Corporate Giants dominantly those in FTSE 100 are now rushing to meet the Target set by Lord Davies is achieving 1/3 of Women on Board by 2020. A good thing this year, 26 percent of Women on Board by end of 2015 seems very possible, yet it was predicted to be plateauing effect longer term whereby the percentage of women on boards fails to achieve more than 28 percent by 2020.
This effect is caused by the high intake of female directors immediately after the Davies Report, but not sustained ever since. Other study proved that quota is not the answer for this, it helps to recruit but not a warranty for retention. It’s a good thing to have quota but being good is not enough for this.
3 perspectives of Chances to Contribute towards the Womenomics era in Indonesia
Things that a Country can do :
- Promoting societal supports. As women in Indonesia is dominantly responsible for a child-care, it would help to set a role model for men to take active role of partnership in parenting.
- Intervention to support women in business. Improving access to business information and promoting more business events to participate and connect with. Indonesian women are exceptionally among other countries in participation of Business Association. The crave for connection has apparently helped women in finding ways to make things possible.
- More women in the house. Yes — I know I said quota is only a start. Yet a country policy impact millions of people. Having women in the house have a similar effect as having women on board.
Things that Companies can do to sustain :
- Adaptation of a company policy in ways of working. We know that we will need more millennials in our business, it’s be there or be behind in the game of changes. Diversity in recruits and Flexibility is what becomes essential value for Millennials.
- Provide mentoring & sponsoring for women, not only between women but as well from men. With periodical mentoring, sustainability is being created. Sponsorship will also help boost more confidence of having potential women on board — for both the talent and the other stakeholders.
- Promote connection both internal & external. Internal for women to develop themselves and network — we know from study how Indonesian women loves to mingle and share thoughts. External for women to connect with other companies/business as well also taking part in government effort to support women participation in economy.
Things that WE CAN do :)
- Be a responsible marketer. Considered myself blessed having a job to service million of Indonesian Mothers, as women holds at least 80% purchase decision — this Company holds a great influence to shaping the thoughts and perception of a society in a long run through our communication and interaction with them. So be mindful and think about the future of our kids
- Be part of the game. Lucky to be in a company that promotes to have 1/3 of women on board and 1/3 of nationality diversity, so considered I am a woman of color hence my chance is higher, logically. Let’s see how the game is played then
- Be a good citizen and always remember to pay it forward. One last favorite quote, in everything that we do, try to say this out loud when you start the morning:
So women, go step forward, be seen, and ask yourself — If not me, who ? If not now, when ? – Emma Watson #HeForShe
And please don’t stop here, add your things to these lists
Yes at least every one or two years..
Am I insane ?
But I know why I’m doing it so I don’t mind the label. Perhaps you’d be wondering why I’m doing it but once you read this through you’ll understand why – and chance is you’re testing it to your team.
So here’s 7 things that I have found to be good reasons for you to try :
#1 You will learn to speak positive things about yourself and your job.
This happens, when you’re spending years doing the same role and you’ll get bored and started thinking that there’s no excitement of doing it – that you need another challenges. That is human. And you start thinking that the grass in another yard is greener. That is human as well. Yet we both know that is not always the fact.
When you start selling yourself you will learn to put positive words (trust me nobody wants to hire someone who puts negative words) on what you do, then you’ll learn to see that it is actually not bad, and you know what – seems like it’s still aligned with what you really seek in life.
#2 You will learn to listen to yourself better and get to understand what you really seek in a career life.
Have you ever had a conversation with yourself ?
I do that every morning or on the ride to the office. Amazing thing! When you start listening to yourself talking you can suddenly get another point of view of a different person. You found new things that you haven’t figured out and somehow you’re amazed of yourself and end up saying, ‘well, seems like I did good….” or “I never think that way before.. “
The same effect when you become a teacher or a trainer, you will learn best from your own words and action, and yes of course from the response of the audience or your conversation partner. Then you will learn best on what REALLY MATTER to you.
#3 You will try to understand better the competitive landscape – in Workforce, in Category, or in the Industry
By having a conversation with someone, professionally, you will be more mindful not only on what you do but to your competition landscape, whether in what you do, start talking in a business language of market share and price point, discussing the trend in the industry and exploring more on your own thoughts about the category. With someone asking 5w+1h questions of course your brain start optimizing itself. It’s like empowering yourself to find answers which normally perhaps could only be optimized when you have a coaching session.
#4 You’ll test the water on the value of yourself.
Yes you will also learn to understand the value of yourself. Find out if you’re calculating your value only by take home pay or that you consider other perks as well. You will eventually calculate your worth in a more holistic way. And yes knowing that you are underpaid will give you a chance to negotiate better with your boss, yet knowing that you are overpriced can be a warning to yourself to start thinking of making a breakthrough that worth your price. Otherwise, your boss would decide the extra job for you to make it worth. Trust me, it would better be come from your own initiative.
#5 You’re practicing to pitch yourself.
Yes, practice makes perfect. And when you can pitch yourself to other people well enough then you make my life easier cause I know that you can sell yourself to the management and key stakeholders. It means lesser debates or validation on calibration and promotion proposals. Nothing excites a boss more than a team who is well-acknowledged by the management. My work is half done.
#6 You meet people.
Do my team really that miserably having no time to socialize that they need a job interview just to meet people ? I have to say no – I can say they have more hang out friends than I do. But on a job interview you will meet new people with expectation. Strangers with potential authority which you find significant. And you learn to read that expectation and understand that expectation. Best is your people skill is improving as well as your negotiation skills.
#7 I get my Dream Team on board.
Yup! I would only work with those with the same purpose and passion. If not, there’s no point of doing. And If we’re still heading the same direction and that you care enough, then you’ll share me the things that we can improve as a team or a business. You will understand why Gandhi said, be the change you want to see in the world. I’d rather lose people and clean up a mess rather than having a team who not knowing where we’re heading. Well lucky me I only manage a small team.
Some of them do fly away as they have another dream which the company can not provide, and I strongly encourage them to take the opportunity. Perhaps one day they will be my boss, my client, or someone I work with in the future – who knows, the world does revolve.
The next response I got would be, ‘Hope that they return to you instead…’
Yes some return, and some not.
If they return that they will bring added value to my team but if not then they will find another place to grow, and I will find another new and freshly passionate soul to my team.
HR people, if you’re a bit shocked reading this, this action does not cause retention issue and please re-read no.7 for answer. Calculating years of talent ROI is not the same value as retaining them, yet to understand that they will bring added value instead of toxic mindset.
Of course, this is only my personal opinion, I have no background or what-so-ever in employee retention and it’s based on my lifetime experience.
So why don’t you try and let me know how this work (or not work) on your team or yourself.
Few conversation I had with myself over 30k trail in Bromo which pretty much resemble my professional life. And yes these thoughts came across me and now I’m trying to recollect the thinking and let you know that no matter how slow you go, how painful it is, that it’ll be worth it to keep moving forward. Enjoy!
#1 Run while you can. Climb when you need to. Crawl when you need more.
No excuses, you have all the resources to keep on moving.
I’m a slow runner, at especially during the first 5k was always the most challenging part for me as I prefer to take it easy and get on with my comfort run (read: a very slow and pretty jog). But going through the trails now I regret a bit to a part where I could’ve saved more time by running, cause the rest after 10k trail was definitely not a running field..
Lesson learnt. A note to self, Don’t wait. Speed up where you can. Do the work that you can do now and don’t wait to the last minute no matter how you love the adrenaline rush. By the end of the day you can always use the spare time for better things. Start early if not then start now
#2 You can have bulletproof plan and strategy yet always be prepared with surprises to survive.
I’m a girl with the plan even for the most unplanned situation. I’ve prepared my things well enough with 1.5L water, power bars, chocolates, and GU Chomps – my fave! Of course I’m fully aware that there will be check points where we can get more water and foods so I needn’t spare too much already I think I’ll pick up my banana later. Well happen that the only water left was on the first check points and the rest of I only got an apple with no water! Try to save up by then, till I met one warung before the sandy dunes and try to refuel the water. Happens that I’m unable to eat any chocolate or power bars as my sore throat was getting worse. So yes at the end we just need to get on with whatever to survive.
As in business and in life, bulletproof plan and strategy are great weapons and as well to include the element of surprises. Training and preparation are great helps, and you need to as well train yourself for any kind of possible surprises. Consider yourself going to a grand presentation where all the C-level are in presence and later on will label your skill and define how your career went. Of course training will help you go through the slides and stories well, but in case – just in case and this things do happens – you gotta improvise yourself when the video is not running and the slide just stuck there. Sing if you have to, dance if you need to. Keep on engaging people attention and show the best that the best materials is in you. Not the presentation.
#3 You will face more demotivation than encouragement along the road. Yourself is the best cheerleader you can ever have!
Funny how I normally met encouraging people along the running track who keep on cheering you, especially those on road running events. But this one is kinda different, along the 30k I met more people asking me to join them in a jeep or get ojek, or to give up as the cut off time is near and it’s impossible to reach before the cut off time.
Well my battle that day is not the cut off time, not yet, I know I could never complete within the time unless I know how much time needed for the total 30k. I’d committed to myself to see how far can I go till the sun set.
In business, you will meet more people who told you how this doesn’t worth the dedication and told you that the best decision is to leave, pack your bags, and leave (though I wonder why these people who told me still stay around!)
Well guess what, this is your life and your decision, not them. So be wiser and clearer in what you want in life. Stay true for your reason being, and no need to let the world knows, they might not understand you anyway. Understanding yourselves is better – anyway, there are so many things we kept in ourselves for our reasons to do things. Stay true, and keep moving on to what you believe.
#4 When you look back, you will see how amazing view your journey was and amazed with your own self for made it this far.
I remember the last 4km was the best hike ever. Not that I have no strengthen to move up then I decided to hike backward – slowly, facing all the views I’d been through.
I stunned for a while and smiled. Never in my mind I have the imagination of going through 30k, and never in mind I dreamt of going through all that routes, the high and lows of sandy dunes and running across the top of a mountain. I feel proud of my self. I feel amazing!! I made it this far with my own foot, which for all my life I thought the weakest of my body, happen to be the strongest that I can rely on. I’m grateful I did all this.
Any moment you are now, try to remember the days when you start your career or when you’re doing a part-time during school. You will look back to those times, when you have less money than now, less time for fun, and less option to pick. Perhaps you never think about where you going to end up now, and not in your initial plan for career, but all the learnings you’ve been through will help you understand better about life, about yourself, and make you feel grateful for what you had along the journey. All the times spents are worth the stories to tell to your children…
#5 Even when you achieve it, there will be people saying that you don’t deserve it. Screw them. You totally deserve it!
So there’s the finish line, I actually spare my energy to dramatically run to the finish line, but considering the over time I had, I guess I keep it silent and keep walking. Nobody cares anyway, noone I knew at the finish line, and they seem busy chatting and doing touristy pictures. So I keep on walking to log the time in the finish line.
Happier than ever that I had finally made it!
until then the race director came approach the time keeper, pointing finger at me, and make a very clear statement to the time keeper that I was recorded as a DNF – Did Not Finish. Well yes there’s rule confirming that I am a DNF but I suppose we can skip the drama of making such announcement at the finish line. Anyway, to my defense I’m proud enough to complete this race on foot, fair and square!
This remind me a lot, whatever achievement that you will have in life, there will always be people like that who think that you don’t deserve enough for your achievement. Well keep on walking baby, cause when you deserve it, then you totally deserve it. Don’t let others define you. You know best what you’d been through and your experience worth more than a medal, I can assure you that.
There’s no immense feeling that can beat that sense of achievement in you