5 Things I Learned about Career from my EPIC 30k Trail in Bromo

Few conversation I had with myself over 30k trail in Bromo which pretty much resemble my professional life. And yes these thoughts came across me and now I’m trying to recollect the thinking and let you know that no matter how slow you go, how painful it is, that it’ll be worth it to keep moving forward. Enjoy!

 

#1 Run while you can. Climb when you need to. Crawl when you need more.

No excuses, you have all the resources to keep on moving.

I’m a slow runner, at especially during the first 5k was always the most challenging part for me as I prefer to take it easy and get on with my comfort run (read: a very slow  and pretty jog). But going through the trails now I regret a bit to a part where I could’ve saved more time by running, cause the rest after 10k trail was definitely not a running field..
BTS30K-GAIN

Lesson learnt. A note to self, Don’t wait. Speed up where you can. Do the work that you can do now and don’t wait to the last minute no matter how you love the adrenaline rush. By the end of the day you can always use the spare time for better things. Start early if not then start now

 

#2 You can have bulletproof plan and strategy yet always be prepared with surprises to survive.

I’m a girl with the plan even for the most unplanned situation. I’ve prepared my things well enough with 1.5L water, power bars, chocolates, and GU Chomps – my fave! Of course I’m fully aware that there will be check points where we can get more water and foods so I needn’t spare too much already I think I’ll pick up my banana later. Well happen that the only water left was on the first check points and the rest of I only got an apple with no water! Try to save up by then, till I met one warung before the sandy dunes and try to refuel the water. Happens that I’m unable to eat any chocolate or power bars as my sore throat was getting worse. So yes at the end we just need to get on with whatever to survive.


pasir bromo

As in business and in life, bulletproof plan and strategy are great weapons  and as well to include the element of surprises. Training and preparation are great helps, and you need to as well train yourself for any kind of possible surprises. Consider yourself going to a grand presentation where all the C-level are in presence and later on will label your skill and define how your career went. Of course training will help you go through the slides and stories well, but in case – just in case and this things do happens –  you gotta improvise yourself when the video is not running and the slide just stuck there. Sing if you have to, dance if you need to. Keep on engaging people attention and show the best that the best materials is in you. Not the presentation.

 

#3 You will face more demotivation than encouragement along the road. Yourself is the best cheerleader you can ever have!

 

Funny how I normally met encouraging people along the running track who keep on cheering you, especially those on road running events. But this one is kinda different, along the 30k I met more people asking me to join them in a jeep or get ojek, or to give up as the cut off time is near and it’s impossible to reach before the cut off time.
Well my battle that day is not the cut off time, not yet, I know I could never complete within the time unless I know how much time needed for the total 30k. I’d committed to myself to see how far can I go till the sun set.

 

In business, you will meet more people who told you how this doesn’t worth the dedication and told you that the best decision is to leave, pack your bags, and leave (though I wonder why these people who told me still stay around!)
Well guess what, this is your life and your decision, not them. So be wiser and clearer in what you want in life. Stay true for your reason being, and no need to let the world knows, they might not understand you anyway. Understanding yourselves is better – anyway, there are so many things we kept in ourselves for our reasons to do things. Stay true, and keep moving on to what you believe.

 

#4 When you look back, you will see how amazing view your journey was and amazed with your own self for made it this far.

I remember the last 4km was the best hike ever. Not that I have no strengthen to move up then I decided to hike backward – slowly, facing all the views I’d been through.

I stunned for a while and smiled. Never in my mind I have the imagination of going through 30k, and never in mind I dreamt of going through all that routes, the high and lows of sandy dunes and running across the top of a mountain. I feel proud of my self. I feel amazing!! I made it this far with my own foot, which for all my life I thought the weakest of my body, happen to be the strongest that I can rely on. I’m grateful I did all this.

 

Any moment you are now, try to remember the days when you start your career or when you’re doing a part-time during school. You will look back to those times, when you have less money than now, less time for fun, and less option to pick. Perhaps you never think about where you going to end up now, and not in your initial plan for career, but all the learnings you’ve been through will help you understand better about life, about yourself, and make you feel grateful for what you had along the journey. All the times spents are worth the stories to tell to your children…

bromo

#5 Even when you achieve it, there will be people saying that you don’t deserve it. Screw them. You totally deserve it! :-)

So there’s the finish line, I actually spare my energy to dramatically run to the finish line, but considering the over time I had, I guess I keep it silent and keep walking. Nobody cares anyway, noone I knew at the finish line, and they seem busy chatting and doing touristy pictures. So I keep on walking to log the time in the finish line.

Happier than ever that I had finally made it!

until then the race director came approach the time keeper, pointing finger at me, and make a very clear statement to the time keeper that I was recorded as a DNF – Did Not Finish. Well yes there’s rule confirming that I am a DNF but I suppose we can skip the drama of making such announcement at the finish line. Anyway, to my defense I’m proud enough to complete this race on foot, fair and square!

 

This remind me a lot, whatever achievement that you will have in life, there will always be people like that who think that you don’t deserve enough for your achievement. Well keep on walking baby, cause when you deserve it, then you totally deserve it. Don’t let others define you. You know best what you’d been through and your experience worth more than a medal, I can assure you that.

There’s no immense feeling that can beat that sense of achievement in you :-)

 

Bromo Recap Rini

3 Little Lies Across My 30k in Mt. Bromo

 

A call for EPIC Decision

Honestly, I don’t know why I signed up for this 30k in Bromo. I never do 30k and not yet even a half marathon. I know my training schedule will be a mess between deadlines and priorities. As far as I thought, fate doesn’t want me to go this far. There been signs why I keep failing to fulfill my destinies. So I thought that there’s no such thing as 3rd chance in life..

None of this writings ever exist if someone has not talked me into this race, I don’t remember the conversation, but I do remember how it made me feel. So I thought,
heart wont lies, this could be one of the best decision I have ever made in my life, at least in this year. I need something good to remember. Just something good is good enough.

Making vows to ourselves, to run till it burns – to crash ourselves – and to scream hard on the top. Good energy and a feeling, knowing that going to this amazing race will do me my-eternal-sunshine-of-the-spotless-mind trick.  I need to rebuild my life with good feelings and memories.

I don’t have specific reason nor ambition, and I know I’m gonna take longer time then it should, but one thing I committed to is that I will finish this by daylight on foot. No matter what, I will keep on moving.  As it seems that is the only promise I kept. To keep moving on, before the sun sets.

#1 I didn’t run till it burns. I got sprained angkle on my left after 3km (oh yes it’s frustrating thinking that I still go for 27km more and that you see that you need to climb a rocky cliff ahead!),  then I decided that if I wanna reach the finish line I will need to respect the capability of my body. So I walked at most, ran whenever I can, make a stop whenever I may to   e  n  j  o  y    t  h  e    p  a  i  n .
I have an incredible body that have strong resistance to pain and would assume this is because I’m a mother J.  As I believe our body will serve us well when asked nicely.

So yes it hurts, but I didn’t feel it burns, not as in when I race 10k wanting to speed up with my super speedy gal to the finish line.  Perhaps burning yourself is unnecessary for this one, this one is not for the race, but for the journey instead. Perhaps that’s how I soothe myself.

#2 I didn’t crash myself. I finally can say that I either love myself too much to be crushed or that you can not crash a crushed self. Beyond that I feel more than alive.

The only crash I was onto was the sandy dunes. Crashed, kneeled down, sat, and just let my legs warmth by the burning sands of midday in Bromo, tried to chew some grain bar which I can not digest anymore. Getting to the top of sandy dunes what is famously known as the whispering sands, I literally heard sounds of whispers. Thought that I might gone crazy of being along walking up and down the path of those reflective flags directing to climb the great Bromo crater. But I guess I am that crazy to start this might as well be crazy enough to finish this. Anyway I’m pretty damn sure that if I gave up on those sandy dunes, noone will ever gonna find me, as I will be covered with sands and hidden beneath yet noone seems to be around anyhow. So yes, I’m relieved when a 102k participant came across and asked if I were ok, I saw human! I’m still sane and alive. While I bet people who saw me smiling all by myself have no idea if I went mental already under the burning sun.

Sometimes I wished that I had my friend did 30k with me, at least I have someone to keep me sane. Or that if he did 102k I’m pretty sure we gonna meet up somewhere in between this desert and bromo crater then I will have the courage to slap him in the face or nag him to drag me across the dunes! Ha! That would be a perfect suffering for him to literally drag me! :D

But anyway, he must’ve been in pain already with his thoughts and tummy – rather I left him in peace. I feel sorry for him already for missing the adventure he’s been longing to…

 

#3 I didn’t SCREAM on top.

Yeah I know this sounds kinky already in writing moreover if you listen to my voice in between aching and enjoying, on certain part yes I did my ohh—yeaaahh—kinda—scream, along the ran between B29 and Jemplang to which part luckily – I hope – I was on my own. God forbid I hope I was on my own!! Otherwise people would thought that I had multiple orgasms beneath the bushes on the top of the mountain. But yeah yes there were other people passing by with trail motorcycles which I despise most to my rhinitic chronic to carbon monoxide ! So I choose to be wiser. Be Silent, Rini – as so I said to myself. Before I attracted anyone to rape me.

Leaving that hideous thinking, I rather be silent for my own safety, the sound of my own heartbeat and pulse that rushed in my veins.

I tried to be mindful of my surroundings.

My sore throat was a bless in disguise wont allowing me to exploit any voice that much. I figure to safe the energy for later.. like later when I decide to scream at my friend who made me do this! The first thing came across my mind when I managed to B29 was why the hell am I even listening to this guy, what on earth has he talked me into, what was really the conversation, I wasn’t sure why am I signing for this after all. And so I figure one good reason that he gotta be a goddamn sales person that win me over this pitch, I noted myself to be very very very careful with this one. Like careful that he might make you jump over a cliff in the name of love!!

I put my heart to my conscience. Thanked him for this painful and amazing journey…

For when I looked back..

……..I saw the impossible things turned to be possible.

… I saw the decision I have made to face Bromo once again from a different angle..

… I face my demon which a year ago cut my heart to pieces,
and now it gave me the greatest feeling.

I feel alive. And immensely in love.

This is not about the distance nor the elevation, nor medals and finishing tees. This is about moving on even when your mind think it’s better for you to stop or that you can not do it. It is about persistence even in silence to move forward when the people you met encourage stop or do the short cuts.

As in life, you know best what you’re aiming and as well the decision on how you’ll be doing it.

Whatever happens, keep on moving. Cause life always has its way as long as you keep on trying…

 

 

PS. You will always be an ultra runner and an inspiration for me.  So no I wont slap you!

then what?

so now you have your license to use your sword, what would you do ?

I go and meet the demon. my demon. 

where do you gonna find him ?

not sure. I’m sure he’ll appear one day.

then what ?

then to face him with my sword.

to kill him ?

I wish I could.

Why can’t you? aren’t you the one who look for him?

you can not kill love with swords.
It only kills the demon you face but not the demon in you.

Then why you do you wanna look for him ?

to find him

then what?

to cut the bond between us..
to let him go, set him free..

then what?

then I shall be free..